Crying Over Marshmallows

Her wispy blonde hair hung over her chubby face, but there was no hiding the tears rolling down her cheeks. “No, Mommy!” the frustrated, but still adorable toddler cried as she fell to the floor in defeat. “I don’t wanna cupcake!”

Strange words from a 2 year old right?

Well maybe not, if in her tiny hands is clutched a bag of delicious marshmallows. Mom took the bag of mallowy goodness, much to the dismay of her daughter. “You can have a marshmallow now, but if you do, you won’t get a cupcake later! And I know you’ll want one!” She chided gently.

Our heroine remained inconsolable, eyes watery and lip quivering at the thought. Which is slightly heartbreaking, when you consider how much her mom wants her to have the best.

While marshmallows are good, any connoisseur of sweets (speaking as an expert here) knows that they don’t hold a candle to homemade cupcakes. Certainly trading a measly little marshmallow for a whole cupcake isn’t worth crying over. It’s actually quite an upgrade.

But I wonder if we’ve been that toddler before — crying over marshmallows– when what God wants to give us is better than anything we can see right now.

How to know if you’re crying over marshmallows?

There are three things I want to explore about our toddler friend’s situation.

• She felt like Mom was holding something good away from her.
• She wanted something right now, instead of trusting Mom’s timing.
• She couldn’t wrap her head around what she couldn’t see.

Do we ever feel like God is withholding something good, just barely out of reach?

Our enemy would definitely tell us this. It was one of his first lies to mankind, actually.

In the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve could have any fruit of any tree they wanted except one: the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. God wanted the best for his creations and knew that eating of this tree would lead them to destruction, so He forbade it.

When Eve encountered the serpent in the garden, he lied to her about God’s command. He tried to convince her that God was withholding something good from her.

“You will not certainly die….For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Genesis 3:4-5

Eve didn’t trust that God had given her everything she needed. And this woman lived in paradise!

Eve never worried about bills or food or gas in her car. Eve never tried on ten dresses in a badly lit dressing room and wished she could change her body. Eve never wondered if she’d make it into grad school.

Up until the fall, she had a perfect relationship with God and with her husband.

And yet, she still questioned if God was keeping something good from her.

It’s so easy to think that God is holding out on us. After all, He has infinite power to do anything He wants. But we have to remember that His ways are not our ways, He knows more than we could ever understand.

When we’re struggling to think that God has provided, we can remember Jesus’ words from the book of Matthew.

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

Matthew 7:9-12

Are we trusting God’s timing or doing things our way?

Again, we don’t have God’s perspective when it comes to timing, so we rely on our experience. If we’re toddlers that means time is either now, or not now. No such thing as waiting. If we’re slightly more adult, that means we want to go through stages at the times that we see other people doing things.

We think we should learn to drive when all the other teenagers are, get married when all our friends are getting married, have kids when our parents had kids, retire when successful people retire. The way we look at time is very comparison driven, and has been since the Old Testament.

Jumping back into Genesis, let’s talk about Abraham and Sarah.

God had promised Abraham that his offspring would be as numerous as the stars — but as he and his wife grew older, they remained childless.

Feeling as though time was running out, Abraham (now age 83) and Sarah took matters into their own hands. Abraham slept with their slave, Hagar, and had a child by her: Ishmael. Sarah, who initiated this whole, use-Hagar-to-start-our-family idea, mistreated Hagar out of jealousy. Things didn’t go so well to say the least.

But despite their shortcomings, despite laughing at the thought of having a child at this time in their lives, God upheld His promise and gave Abraham (now age 100) and Sarah a child, Isaac.

When we try to force things according to our time table, instead of waiting for God’s timing, it can damage our relationships and cause a lot of unnecessary pain… that said, I think we can find comfort in how God fulfilled his promise to Abraham and Sarah anyway.

Some verses to hold onto when we’re questioning God’s timing:

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”

Proverbs 16:9

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29:11

“But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: with the lord a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like a day. The lord is not slow in keeping his promise as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you not wanting anyone to perish but everyone to come to repentance.”

2 Peter 3:8-9

Can we still have faith in what we don’t see?

One of the big reasons why our toddler friend was struggling with letting go of the marshmallows was that she couldn’t see the cupcake. It wasn’t there in front of her. And even though her mommy said the word “cupcake” over and over again, I could tell she wasn’t quite buying it, because unlike the marshmallows, she couldn’t see it or touch it.

It’s hard to have vision. While I like to think I’m pretty imaginative, it’s hard for me to take a leap of faith towards something I can’t see or picture.

Let’s just say, if someone had pitched me the concept of building a giant boat because the waters of the deep were going to open up and flood the entire Earth… on Shark Tank… I would have some serious questions before investing.

But in Genesis there was no Mr. Wonderful, or any sharks for that matter, besides the kind with rows and rows of sharp teeth. Noah didn’t question God’s authority or wisdom. Instead, he got straight to work. He had faith in something he couldn’t see. He had vision.

Of course, the vision was not Noah’s. God was the one giving him the measurements to build in cubits. It was only because Noah walked faithfully that he was able to see the vision, and eventually see it realized. By walking faithfully with God and communicating with Him, we can align ourselves with His plans and learn more about His vision for our lives.

And if you’re wondering if that little girl got her cupcake…

I watched as Mom bent down on one knee and pulled out her phone. She showed her daughter a picture of the cupcakes. With her tiny pudgy fingers, she traced the outline of the sweet treat on the screen. The toddler relinquished her grip on the marshmallow bag, let her mom wipe away her tears, and embraced the possibility that something better, might just be in store…