One of the hardest things about being a human is making decisions.
You might think that having to make dozens and dozens of these little turns every single day would give us some practice to make it easier.
Well, to some degree it does, and we learn. We choose a candy bar at the gas station, it doesn’t taste very good, we don’t pick it again. Next time we pick something else. That got easier.
But other times, we’re faced with much more unique decision making situations, like where to go to college or who to marry that seldom occur more than once in a lifetime. These, not having many practice runs and also being pretty permanent decisions, are the ones we struggle over.
The best thing and first thing to do about any struggle is to bring it to God.
(Despite our gut reaction that says, “I won’t bother Him about this, I can figure it out myself.”)
How do we do it? There’s three ways I know of that are mentioned in scripture and recommended by scripture.
Pray, conversationally.
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.”
1 John 5:14
Jesus models how to pray in Matthew 6.
“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
Matthew 6:5-6
What Jesus is saying here is: don’t pray to be seen by other people, pray to be heard by God
“And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”
Matthew 6:7-8
Prayer is a conversation. As soon as you address God, you’re entering that conversation space. And like most conversations with people, you have God’s attention already. You don’t need to say a lot of words to get His attention. And unlike most conversations with people, God already knows what you want and what you need, you don’t have to reiterate what you’re trying to say so He will understand.
“This, then, is how you should pray: “ ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”
Matthew 6:9-13
This doesn’t mean to just recite The Lord’s Prayer every time you pray– it’s actually more of a formula we can follow, like a recipe for a strong prayer. Let’s break it down, shall we?
“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven.”
We address God as our father, remembering the special relationship with Him that Jesus made possible, we praise Him and address His power and glory. Woohoo! Great start!
“Give us today our daily bread.”
I think this part is particularly interesting because of the word “daily.” It indicates a sort of everyday-ness is really okay and desirable in a prayer. If you’ve ever felt unholy or shallow for praying about due dates or annoying neighbors or having good weather on a day you’re going out with friends… don’t. God wants us to tell Him about our daily lives, we don’t always need to pray for big things like the state of the nation or all of sickness in the world. Those are excellent prayers! But God wants the little, individual things too. The daily bread. Remember, He created us for a relationship with Him.
“And forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.”
This part. Wow. So this is the part I usually forget myself, because I don’t like feeling wrong or bad, because I’m pretty human. It’s hard to ask to be forgiven. It really is. Especially when you’re still harboring something you haven’t forgiven.
“They ignored me when I waved at them on the sidewalk this morning, so really, me ignoring the text is perfectly fair!”
I don’t think I’ve ever heard God speak to me in audible words but I definitely get nudges sometimes that are the Holy Spirit equivalent of “yeah, right.”
We should pray to be forgiven, pray to forgive, and pray our way out of troubles and dangers that might tempt us.
Does it mean you’re a weak Christian if you ask God to help you resist temptation? Not at all. It means you’re strong enough to let yourself and your pride go and lean on Him.
Read scripture.
Scripture is an excellent tool for decision making. Will it tell you who to marry? No. Will it tell you what college to go to? No.
It’s even more important than that.
Scripture guides us to make Godly decisions as we learn about the character of God and the ways in which He wants us to walk and serve Him.
So it might tell you that a college known for parties where you know you’ll be distracted from God is not the right choice for you, or affirm you that the job you just applied for might be where you can reach people for Christ.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
2 Timothy 3:16-17
Seek wise counsel.
These points are in order for a reason. Your first step is to pray, your next step should be turning to scripture. Next, call in some spiritual backup.
For me, it’s my mom and dad, or my sweet “adopted grandparents,” who attend my church, or even my Bible study gals who have walked this path.
Lay out the decision in all its agonizing undecidedness in front of someone who seeks God, who has more experience or knowledge than you, and who you trust has your best interest in mind.
And while the people in your life are not God, God can speak to you through them in these situations. Be receptive and listen closely– I learn so much from the wise people around me!
And bonus, listening intentionally to others who are wise, actually makes you wise.
“The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.”
Proverbs 12:15
When you’re on the bridge of your next decision, I pray that God’s peace and presence will be with you as you work through the process.
“And the peace that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6
Rachel Brei 